Truth or Shots
by Jessahme Wren
Summary: Months after the Battle of Crait, Rey and Kylo find themselves stuck on the same freighter and end up passing the time with alcohol and honesty.


The brick-shaped Corellian freighter hugged the far side of the minor moon, taking the brunt of the ion storm on its forward shields. Rey stood amid the many passengers on board, staring out at the bright bursts of energy that, had it not been for the gravity dampeners of the old freighter as well as the moon's on field, would have certainly sent them careening into the far reaches of space.

She pushed away from the transparisteel viewpane, weaving through the tightly packed common area of the large freighter. The passenger manifest was a motley crew; Rey spotted beings from all across the galaxy, most from the Outer Rim. It didn't take any trick of the Force to know that most of the beings here had their own nefarious agendas. She kept her newly constructed lightsaber hidden but close.

She had boarded the freighter on Dantooine. She'd stashed the Falcon there and, after taking fire from local marauders, had been unable to get back to her. She hoped to rendezvous with the Resistance at the next drop point…that is, if this storm would ever let up.

Rey continued to shoulder her way through the crowd, when suddenly she felt it…that curious tingling at the base of her neck.

"No," she whispered into the hot, sticky air, "it can't be."

But she knew it was true. It was a presence she had not felt since the Battle of Crait.

 _Ben_. Somehow, he was here.

She swallowed hard, her eyes sweeping the room. Suddenly, she saw him in everything. The black tail of a cloak just sweeping out of view. A raised cowl. A set of piercing eyes that briefly met hers, only to look past her into the suffocating crowd.

"Show yourself," she whispered.

 _I thought you didn't want to see me,_ countered a voice from the past.

She turned, only to realize the voice had been in her head.

Rey frowned, disappointed in herself to have been taken so off guard. Ben wasn't here…what would he be doing on a dirty old freighter, anyway? Supreme Leader Ren was sitting on an ebony throne somewhere in his fortress of solitude.

The freighter, like most commercial transports, had its own cantina, and Rey found her way there as much to stave off the boredom of the long trip as to settle her jangled nerves. She'd never been much of a drinker, but as a young girl on Jakku, she had quickly found that alcohol was a more plentiful beverage than water, so after long, hot days scavenging under the scorching sun, she would make her way into Nima Outpost to pilfer what she could from the dirty outdoor cafés. If she was quick, she could swipe two, maybe three shot glasses before the server droids got to them first. If she finished scavenging early, she would stake out the lightweights, knowing there would be more left in their glasses at the end of the night.

Rey poured more alcohol around the hard knot forming in her throat. Sometimes it seemed like a lifetime ago…other times, only yesterday.

Just as she was pouring another shot, there was that familiar tingle at the back of her neck, and then her whole field of vision was filled with _him_. There, across from her at her little corner table, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren stood looking down at her, a dark cloak billowing behind him.

He gestured with a black-gloved hand. "Is this seat taken?"

She looked up at him, at his pale face floating against the impossibly dark backdrop of his traveling cloak.

"No," she heard herself say, still reconciling the reality of him standing in front of her, on this dirty freighter, after all this time.

She watched as he folded his impossibly large form into her corner booth and settled opposite her. He made it look easy, she thought to herself, to displace all that energy and mass in a few swift movements. He'd had a lifetime of practice, of course. Her mind drifted to Ben Solo as a gangly teen and something stirred within her.

"It's been a long time," he finally said. His face was expressionless, but when he moved to push back the hood of his simple traveling cloak, she could see his brown eyes were soft if not a little tired.

Rey nodded, throwing back a shot. She was feeling the alcohol now, and sitting across from who was technically her sworn enemy, she was starting to regret it. Beneath the table, the weight of her lightsaber hung heavy against her hip.

"It has," she said. She watched his face, trying to read him through the Force. "Are you here to find me?"

He huffed a laugh. "Um, no. This," he motioned between them, "is incidental of why I'm here," he said at last. His eyes fixed on hers. "But I _have_ found you."

She smiled slyly. "I'm armed, Ben. And this freighter is packed, in case you haven't noticed."

His mouth twitched. "It's _Supreme Leader Ren_ now, he corrected with a glint in his eye, and you and I could clear this place in a few deep breaths."

She felt the Dark Side surge around him, but it shrank as quickly as it presented. He was testing her…teasing her…feeling her out. It had been so long since they had seen each other. Now here they were on seemingly neutral ground, trapped with nowhere to go.

Rey tapped the edge of her empty glass. "Maybe I take you in _Supreme Leader_. Deliver you to the Resistance. Go home the hero." A smile broke her face as Kylo began to chuckle and shake his head.

"You would like that wouldn't you? Take me back to your band of rebels. Tell me," he said smoothly, "where is that pitiful group huddled nowadays anyway?"

Rey pursed her lips, shaking her finger between them. "I'm not your prisoner anymore, Ben," she said quietly. "No interrogations."

Something flitted across his face, but it was gone before she could give it a name.

"What if," Kylo said, "it was mutual? And," he interrupted himself by hailing a server droid, "you had the option of answering?"

Rey eyed him curiously, wary of his sudden enthusiasm. She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Are you proposing a game?"

The droid sat down a bottle and his own glass before whirring away. Kylo challenged her across the table. "Truth or shots," he said. "What do you say?"

Rey worried her lower lip. It was likely to be a long wait until the storm passed, and having Ben where she could keep an eye on him was probably smart. "Ok," she finally said. "But no questions that we can't answer," she said.

Kylo nodded. "Of course. First Order and Resistance questions are off the table."

Rey drummed her fingers, suddenly anxious. Unbidden, a shiver went up her spine. "Well, shall we begin?"

Kylo poured himself a drink, setting it dead center in front of him. Rey caught his eyes and smiled. "Not feeling talkative?"

He downed the shot without flourish and was refilling the glass before her smile had faded. "Trying to catch up," he said. "You've been here for awhile." He pushed the newly filled glass to the center of the table again and pressed his lips together. "Would you like me to go first?"

There was something youthful in his face, something-for lack of a better word— _honest_ that reminded her of a lifetime ago…of two kids standing amid the carnage of battle…of a lost boy with his hand out and girl-a nobody-who'd found someone to belong to.

"Rey?"

"Hmm?"

"I said do you want me to go first?"

He was looking at her now, his full mouth soft, his eyes keen. "Yeah," she said quietly. "You go."

He canted his head. "Ok." He focused his full attention on her, concentrating as if divining what he would like to know most. He lifted his chin finally, settled on a question.

"Why did you close our connection?"

She worked her mouth, palming the empty shot glass. It would be easy to drink this one away, to avoid it. She shot him a cool glance that hopefully masked how nervous she was. "Aren't you more interested in how, rather than why?"

He shook his head.

"Truth," she whispered, and reluctantly met his eyes. "I didn't know what else to say to you." She licked her lips, then pressed them into a wistful smile. "That's all."

It looked like it pained him, but he was quick to hide it. "I tried to contact you, you know. To reopen the connection. I tried many times, Rey."

She closed her eyes briefly. "I know," she said. "I could feel it."

She poured herself a drink, placing it at the ready for the next round. "My turn," she said. She cleared her throat.

"Did you know Snoke wanted to kill me before we went in that room?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I thought we said no First Order questions."

"That's not a First Order question that's a personal question."

Kylo held her gaze a moment, then wavered. "Shot," he muttered.

"Cowered," she spat.

He slammed the glass down and grabbed her wrist, his eyes as hard as his touch. "It's not how it started that's important, it's how it ended." His hold on her loosened, and she wrenched her arm away.

"It doesn't matter," she said as she looked at him. "I knew the answer before I asked the question."

Kylo looked sourly at his empty glass, his shoulders somewhat slumped.

He locked eyes with her. "When I asked you to join me…have you ever regretted your decision?"

Rey grabbed the shot glass and downed it without saying a word, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

Kylo's laugh was sharp and bitter, and she avoided his eyes for as long as possible. When she finally met them, he didn't look as triumphant as she had feared. "It's ok," he said, parroting her from before, "I knew the answer before I asked."

Rey could feel the color in her cheeks, but she blamed it on the alcohol. She poured another shot, leveling her eyes at him.

"'Don't be afraid; I feel it too.' What did you mean by that?"

He looked at her, surprised. "You don't know?"

She merely looked at him, saying nothing.

He palmed the shot glass, emptying it with ease.

Rey sighed in frustration. "This game is impossible."

Kylo said nothing; he merely filled his glass and raised his eyebrows at her.

She sat back in the booth, her limbs heavy and warm.

"What's the loneliest you've ever been?

"Shot," she said quickly. She was not going to get into that…those dark, lonely nights in the AT-AT on Jakku spent crying into her sleeping mat. Too many memories and too much alcohol under her belt. She felt vulnerable enough. The shot went down smoothly if not a little sloppily and she immediately began to pour another.

"You might've had enough, Rey," Kylo intoned quietly, but she was shaking her head as soon as he started talking.

"I'm fine," she insisted. "What about you. Same question."

He pursed his lips, and then so quietly she almost couldn't hear him, he murmured, "Truth. On Crait. Watching you close the boarding ramp to the Falcon. That's the loneliest I've ever been."

She swallowed. It was the last thing she'd expected to hear and, in her semi-inebriated state, she wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

She moved to pour another drink, and he stayed her hand.

"Rey, that's enough," he said.

His gloved hand brushed hers, knuckles easing the palm open until the ends of her fingers had fused with his. He clutched the tenuous connection, his heart racing. Slowly, he lifted his eyes to hers.

Tears threatened to spill over her lashes, and her face was flushed. She moved to pull her hand away, but he tightened his grasp on it, refusing to let her retreat into the safety of evasion. Her fingers were warm, even through the leather of his gloves.

"Why don't you go back to your quarters," Kylo offered, "sleep through the rest of the storm." He released her hand and she followed its path back across the table, her eyes still full of tears. "It shouldn't be much longer now."

Rey wrinkled her nose, then hastily wiped her eyes. "I didn't rent quarters on this rust bucket," she groused. "My trip wasn't supposed to be this long." Her eyes flitted to his where he was looking at her with an unreadable expression. "Besides, I'm not tired."

He smiled then. "You'll feel otherwise when you stand up," he said. He extended his hand. "Come on. You can use mine if you like."

She eyed his hand as it lay hovering in the air before her, and she looked up and saw fiery rain and a lost boy and one plea as it rang heavy between them, then she blinked and it was gone, and only Ben remained.

She slipped her hand in his and stood, gravity against her, and tried to hide how unsteady she felt by planting her feet on the deck of the ship.

He caught her arm before she bumped into another passenger which, in her defense was not difficult to do on such a crowded vessel. Kylo navigated them the rest of the way like this, never letting go of her arm.

They were almost there when a large ion blast hit the ship, knocking Rey off balance. She fell into him, her hand going up to steady herself against his large pectoral muscle and her eyes seeking his face. "Sorry," she muttered, but she was anything but. Ben was as solid as he had appeared to her on Ahch-to…and warm, even through his clothes.

He moved his hand around to hold her lower back, pressing her against him. "It's ok," he said to her. "I've got you."

Something unspoken passed between them, and Rey could feel her heartbeat accelerate. But it was only a moment. She cleared her throat and seemingly the spell was broken.

The freighter's rented quarters was shabby but not unclean, with a fresher, a chest, and a twin bed pushed against the wall. Rey eyed the small bed humorously, wondering how Ben had ever folded his large frame onto it in the first place.

Wordlessly Rey disappeared into the fresher, coming out pink-faced and a little more aware of her surroundings. She stretched her arms. At least there was more room in here. For a moment they simply looked at each other.

"Would you like to sit down?"

Rey blinked at him. He was taking off his gloves and traveling cloak, revealing a simple black tunic and waistcoat. He turned, draping the cloak over the chest. He was _longer_ than she remembered, all legs and firm muscle. He appeared sculpted from granite.

"Sure," she said. She sat down a little uneasily on the bed. The hilt of her lightsaber glinted in the muted light of the room, and he noticed it peeking out from beneath her robes.

"Your weapon," he said, indicating where the hilt hung against her hip. "Double blade?"

She smiled, nodding once.

"Nice. I would very much like to see that in action."

She patted the hilt. "Well, Supreme Leader, the way wars go, maybe one day you will."

There was no mirth in her voice, only the fatigue of a battle-hardened soldier. She looked up to find him looking at her.

"May I sit with you Rey?"

She moved over to allow him room, the bed springs groaning under the weight of an added person. Their shoulders were touching now, and she realized (too late) that she should've moved over more than she had.

Rey let her head fall back against the wall.

"Are you ever tired Ben?"

He stole a glance at her. Her eyes had drifted closed, and her mouth was pressed in a firm line. He wanted to take away the burdens of the last few months…whatever the Resistance had heaped on her, and whatever part he had played, as well. He took her hand instead.

"I am," he said. She watched, fascinated, as he threaded his bare fingers through hers. "I'm tired all the time."

She looked up at him, his dark eyes shining.

"One day this will all be over Rey," he said, "and we'll have our own storms to navigate."

She let her head settle against his firm shoulder and exhaled. Distantly, another energy beam rocked the ship, jostling them both.

"I know," she breathed. But for now they had this, and this was enough.

-0-0-0-


End file.
